March 24, 2017 Uncategorized 0

I am very excited that PRIVATE WATERLOOS is in the final stage of proofing. That means it will be out into the world on Amazon (Kindle and paperback) in April! I was really hoping that I would be able to get it finished so it could be released this week. Oh you fickle finger of fate how cruel you are! Here is a small preview!


Before Failure

     Even as a child, Zac had no idea how he became so epic, but somehow it happened in kindergarten. He knew he wasn’t born that way since he was positive that both his parents were losers. They bought all their clothes at Wal-Mart and could never hope to be the ‘man’, but only work for him. They ate at places that had the word buffet in them; absurdly believing that a place with a sneeze guard could be called a quality restaurant. He didn’t hate them for their loserly ways; he just didn’t want to ever be like them.

He assumed for the majority of his elementary school years that he was adopted. His parents embarrassed him by showing up at school events, flaunting their mediocrity. He didn’t come from their genetic combination, of that he was positive. They were doing their best, raising someone who was bred from a better genetic stock than they could ever hope for. Their inferiority wasn’t really their fault, they came to it naturally from a long line of redneck country pissantism that was taught and cultivated throughout the southern regions they unluckily inhabited.

When he envisioned the exact moment his greatness began, he could only think of one distinct possibility that could have set the chain of events in motion. He was the first person, in his class, to own the Buzz Lightyear and Woody action figures. One boring Friday he brought them to show and tell and found himself surrounded by a multitude of fans, begging him to trade toys or to let them just hold it. He became hooked on the attention he received, a fame junkie at the age of five, and from that moment on he always found a way to stay in the spotlight.

In that instant, he raised the bar and none of the other students were ever able to match it, much less overshoot it.

Elementary school came and went. His birthday parties became the must attend event of every school year. He was careful to not invite his contemporaries to his home, but to always have events at the local skating rink. It was a grand old skating rink that had removable walls so you felt like you were skating outside.

Junior high was his chance to shine in student government filling the dance committees social chair position. Kids scrambled to be his friend and to be offered a seat at his lunch table. High school was more of the same, except now parties involved beer and dark corners. He shone like a beacon in his school and everyone expected the most from him. Even though he was immensely popular he kept everyone at arm’s length, so even surrounded by his adoring “friends” he was always truly alone.

He was a straight A student, class president, most likely to succeed but by the age of 25 he was a college drop out.

Zac peaked too soon…